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25 Things You Didn’t Know About Me

I originally filled this out on Facebook in February after swearing I never would. So here is your un-asked for look into all things me (things in brackets are updates):

Photo courtesy of atfleurdeleigh.com (I luv her)

1. I hate things like this, but then I end up reading them and giggling and learning. So I guess I kind of like these things. Shut up.

2. When I was in Grade 10, my English teacher sent me down to the Special Ed. office cause he was concerned at my writing ability. Considering I farking rule at writing, this was news to me. I sat down at the short bus admission area and the person asked me to read a few lines like “See Spot Run”. Before losing it, I asked “Why am I here?” She replied “You don’t seem to be able to structure basic sentences together” I asked her to show me what the hell she was talking about, and she showed me the assignment I recently handed in, which was to create a report in a newspaper style article. She then read straight across the page, showing how crazysauce I was. I then told her “it’s written in columns, you know, like a NEWSPAPER” She was reading it like an essay, apparently I didn’t leave a big enough “gap” between columns and they thought I was in “special need” of help. She looked at it, read it as it supposed to be, turned red and said “You can go back to class now”. I went back to class, walked right up to the teacher grabbed his red marker, and drew big farkin lines between columns.

3. I refuse to go into haunted houses. Love horror flicks, etc. Something about a place designed to make me dirty my pants never sat right with me. Especially ones with real people in it, and their only purpose in life is to jump out and scare you because they weren’t hugged enough as a child. The only way I would ever go into one is if I was one of those people who worked in it and my only purpose in life would be to scare the crapcakes out of others. I need a hug.

3. I don’t eat vegetables. Scurvy FTW

4. I logged onto the Internet in 1994 in College and haven’t logged off since. I have been to every single site in the Internet tubes. I weep gently at night knowing I could of registered domain names and sold them for millions and instead I was looking at boobies.

5. I got divorced a few years ago and still feel guilty for putting my son and stepson through it to this very day.

6. I came in second place at a Karaoke competition doing Louis Armstrong – What a Wonderful World, and changed it to a Toronto Maple Leafs version on the fly while on crutches after knee surgery and jacked up on Tylenol 3’s. I came in second to THE HOST OF THE COMPETITION. First place was a trip to Vegas, second place got free nachos.

7. I was the lead singer in a band in high school. I had long hair and rocked the place. Being on stage was one of the greatest feelings in my life.

8. My son is exactly like me. And I love it and it scares the crap out of me.

9. I talk for a living yet I hate talking to people on planes and in cabs. (and on the phone)

10. I don’t believe in zodiac signs, UFO’s or ghosts. (or Twilight)

11. I am agnostic and would like to take people who try to push their religion on others and revoke their right to practice said religion. It should be a choice, not a demand.

12. I don’t follow politics. I’m a firm believer that governments fark up, regardless of party due to human nature and self-serving nature of our species.

13. I love poker. Seriously. I would adopt it if it was a child.

14. Vegas is my favourite place on earth. I would live there except for the fact that I’d probably be in a ditch right now covered in deep fried twinkie remains. (15 trips and counting)

15. I never think I’m wrong.

16. I teach at a College and despise other teachers who do not care about the subject they teach or their students

17. I love my students. I would do anything for them and feel like a mother hawk if something happens to them under my watch.

18. I drink triple-triple coffee. Three creams (18%) and three sugars. At least it’s not deep-fried bacon.

19. I would like to try deep-fried bacon.

20. I rarely drink. It’s not that I don’t like it, it makes me tired for the most part, or cuts into my dancing time at a club

21. I love to dance. I could go out dancing every night of the week.

22. I love that most guys can’t/won’t dance. More dance floor space for me. If you’re not gonna bounce, get the hell off the dance floor

23. I think guys for the most part are douchebags in how they go about business and how they treat woman and sometimes I’m embarrassed to be of the same gender.

24. I can sit in a casino all day and people watch. Spending $200 to get a free $12 buffet coupon fascinates me.

25. Being a father is the greatest feeling in the world. And the hardest thing to do.

26. I don’t like following rules. I have told three bosses in past jobs to kiss my ass. (I also don’t like this having to be only 25 things. Eat it)

27. I just wrote this entire thing out and pressed the back button by a mistake, but due to my ninja reflexes, was able to copy the words before it lost all this writing.

28. My girlfriend and son were in a car accident December 07 while I was at my Nanny’s (aka Grandmother) funeral. He walked away unscathed, she lives in constant pain and has partial brain damage and it kills me everyday that I can’t fix it or I can’t go punch the woman in the mouth who ran the red light.

29. I love my family, my closest friends are my Mom and siblings. They don’t know it, but they’ve made the biggest difference in my life and I don’t know where I’d be without them.

30. I used to manage bands in Toronto and always feared no one would show up. It’s one of the reasons I don’t host many live events today. It’s also what scares me about my UnMarketing book coming out.

31. I love giving hugs and hate the fact that I don’t know when to give them in a business setting. Everyone I’ve met on Twitter I want to run up to, hug them and tell them how much they rule, but don’t know who I can do it with. Maybe I should do a survey and get them to sign a waiver.

Photo courtesy of the awesome and crazy Leigh who sat in the middle of a street in Vegas to get that shot

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  • Ron

    GEEZ!!! Is this Crap Post still going on??? When are all you “Lost Lambs” gonna WAKE UP?? . This guy is all SHOW and NO GO!!

    Read # 5… “I got DIVORCED blah blah blah and still feel GUILTY about it etc.etc.etc.”. He Posted this on Dec. 6/09. I wonder if HE feels GUILTY about his EX-Wife Commiting Suicide on SEPTEMBER 1/09?? after HER Children were …well we can leave it there. He LOVES POKER & VEGAS? The word “LOVE” is an Understatement! Professionals would have another word for it. Use to mange bands? His Older Brothers “Nowhere” Band ONLY! I think GUYS for the most part are “DOUCHE BAGS”? Thanks Scott! All you Other GUYS just sit there and think “He couldn’t mean me.” YES! YOU! I haven’t talked to my Father in years and hope he’s proud of me. HELLO???? HOW is that suppose to happen if you haven’t talked to him? What? He’s A Drunk? Dope Head? Abuser? Or! YOU’VE got a BIGGER Problem!! You’re New Book? PHFFFFFT!! If Wiley finds out what’s REALLY going on especially Bill Zerter, there’s gonna be a BIG FAST Clerance Sale!

    HANG ON SCOTT! The Elevator is on it’s way DOWN to the BASEMENT and it’s going to be a FAST RIDE to NOWHERE!!

  • This was such an unexpectedly fascinating read. I came here after the mention of it in #UnMarketing.

  • Oh yah, Big Hug!!

  • Anonymous

    I found myself nodding in agreement to a few of these. (#2 got me cheering, then #9, #10, #12, #25 – well you get the idea).

    My favorite “obscure” thing was #31 – I always had trouble with “professional behavior” then doing year-end gift exchange. Way to mess with my head, big bosses!

  • Kim

    Dear Scott-
     
    I turn 40 in six weeks AND I DON’T EAT VEGETABLES EITHER (and I didn’t turn out half-bad despite that).

    And there’s chocolate-covered bacon now. Have you tried it?

    Kim in NC

    PS- Ordering UnMarketing now. Can’t wait for the amazon package to get here!

    • Yes! I’ve tried it! So good! Hope you like the book!

  • I think this is just a good ploy to extract some sweet hugs! More people should hug instead of handshake. Well if I ever see you in Toronto, hugs all around. Love your book BTW

  • Jennifer Love

    This is fantastic!! Clearly I’m enjoying your book to the point where I’m willing to take the time to type in all of the links! I’ve never enjoyed a work of nonfiction this much, so thank you.